Myths vs. Facts: The Plight of the Redhead
Having red hair is a privilege, as many hairstylists will tell you. What people don’t seem to understand is that such beauty is in fact a double-edged sword. Our hair to some is what a red cape is to a bull in Barcelona: a misunderstood target. This section is devoted to opening the lines of communication between all hair colors so that we may learn to peacefully co-exist.
M: We like to be addressed as “Red,” as in “Hey Red, looking good!”
F: No, we really don’t. Please stop that.
M: Carrot Top is an acceptable form of reference to a red-haired person.
F: Carrot Tops are green. Please pay attention.
M: Redheads have really bad tempers.
F: Then don’t piss us off. Seriously, it depends on the Redhead. My people have had to put up with years of unearned taunting on the playground and some of that is bound to back up at some point. Here is a mere taste of the torment we have all had to endure:
• Oh look, he’s embarrassed: his face matches his hair!
• Hey Pippi Longstocking! Where’s your horse?
• Roses are red. So is your head. I wish you were dead.
Charming, isn’t it? In defense of this nasty stereotype I want to point out that most violent crimes per capita are committed by the non-red population. Comparatively, I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job of keeping our tempers in check. Best not to test us though.
