http://chriseastvedt.com Listen to Chris read her short stories for you! Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:10:04 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Click To Play This video is about fifteen minutes long, but only the first few minutes are really worth your time. It’s interesting that the moderator points out in the first minute or so a major problem in the publishing industry—they talk to each other, about each other and don’t ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/are-you-a-twitter-tease-or-looking-for-love Alas, my expectations for large scale drama were dashed when the Amazon/MacMillan fight to the death ended with a whimper. There was hope that the excitement would continue when, after saying it was going to comply with Mac’s pricing demands, Amazon didn't return the buy buttons and likely won’t ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/who%e2%80%99s-afraid-of-the-big-bad-wolf-part-ii Ah, the publishing industry… inconsistent, entitled and oh, so clueless… you’ve got to love it. Here’s the latest literature fans, gnatty Macmillan tries to throw its weight around and gets an emphatic butt-swatting from fatty Amazon. Big publishing really, really wants to sell their eBooks for more ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/who%e2%80%99s-afraid-of-the-big-bad-wolf This guy comes across as a complete tool, obviously, but you have to admit he has confidence. Egotistical, hyperbolic confidence that might make you reconsider your stance on gun control, but confidence nonetheless. He’s the kind of guy who gets attention. No matter where this man is ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/honk-that-horn-baby So a guy walks into an airport bookstore and sets up a table and a stack of books ready for signing. If you saw this, how likely would you be to rush over and buy his book? What if this was Gary Vaynerchuk with ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/book-signings-made-simple-dont-do-it Some call it voodoo, but editors trying to nudge a successful book onto the New York Times list are convinced that little things can matter. Staging author events that will generate sales, such as readings and signings, at stores reporting to the Times is an obvious step. Other tricks are ... http://chriseastvedt.com/uncategorized/are-bestseller-lists-worth-the-chase With a little creativity, the everyday doesn’t have to be ordinary. Even a small change can make a big impact. That impact is your opportunity. Clay Shirky’s a smart guy who brings up some interesting points about what local bookstores need to consider if they expect to survive ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/booksellers-adding-value-means-more-than-you-think If nothing else, it’s good to see publishing technology is still moving forward. The latest hipster on the scene is cloud streaming (cloud publishing, cloud computing), where content is stored in a central server on the net rather than saved to a device. The technology has been in ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/google-editions-wants-to-cloud-stream-your-ebooks Hey all you booksellers: are you ready to rumbleeeeee?!! Ready or not, Amazon and Walmart are gunning for you in what seems to be a power play for online shopping dominance this holiday season. Basically, Amazon and Walmart, and now Target, are in a shoving match, each ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/amazon-vs-walmart-in-cage-match-extravaganza Seth Godin is a brilliant marketer with much to say about revitalizing the publishing industry. A major problem in the industry is that it is so insular; the same information passes around and around as if in a hive mind, keeping perspectives narrow. Publishers must look outside of ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/a-gift-to-publishers-free-to-use-or-lose So often when we turn around, yet another person is drilling into our heads the necessity of social networking for building an author’s platform. To be effective, authors must: understand their audience, have a plan to utilize said audience, faithfully employ quid pro quo and remember that competition ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/using-social-media-to-get-what-you-want Quartet Press June 2009- September 2009 R.I.P So many of us had high hopes for this fledgling publisher aiming to advance the digital eBook revolution, but alas the Age of Quartet Press was not to be. As disappointing as this is we must all press on, keeping our collective eyes on the ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/for-digital-publishing-love-is-a-battlefield This is a kick ass example of collaborative marketing. You’d think that something like a museum would be forced to accept the ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/give-me-a-reason-to-want-your-marketing "The problem is not people who read books for nothing, it's people not reading books at all. You're fighting the fact that people don't read recreationally [any more]. Anything that can help has got to be a good thing." Neil Gaiman I like this quote because it bucks the ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/people-don%e2%80%99t-read-anymore-please-pass-the-cyanide People care about the things they want, need and think they deserve- not you. Just Say NO to Copyright Infringement So how do you respond? When NO is Not the Answer Everything is connected. No matter how much the publishing industry wants to believe it exists in a bubble, that’s not true. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/the-future-of-publishing-service-or-jail-time In the interest of broadening our perspectives, here’s an international take on the state of publishing. I found Graham’s views on self publishing and Stephanie’s admissions on her level of involvement in marketing her own work a bit cringe worthy myself, but overall the discussion was a good overview ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/theres-a-future-for-authors-in-new-zealand-at-least Hey everyone! Feeling down, listless, depleted from the strain of reading all those classics stacked on your nightstand? Are Joyce, Shakespeare and Dante getting in the way of your busy texting, tweeting and blogging lifestyle? Oh, happy day then because two college sophomores have great news for ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/pointless-publishing-thy-name-is-twitterature There’s so much drama in publishing lately; lots and lots of turmoil, finger pointing and “I’m right,” “No, I’m right and I’ll sue….” Tut. Tut. Tut. One would think that the drama would be limited to the stories in the books, but no, apparently not. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/parody-in-publishing-when-my-perspective-isn%e2%80%99t-yours Borders Renews Art of Hand-selling to “Make” Hits Idlewild Books Sells “Destination Kits” and Personalized Service Rock Point Books Focuses on the Children Applause. Applause. Applause. Booksellers rallying in the face of adversity prove once again that the little guy can’t be ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/booksellers-hustle-in-down-economy Audrey Niffeneger Caught Whoring It Up with Former Backstreet Boy Stephanie Meyer Trades Galaxy Award for Gram of Coke and a Snow Cone Neil Gaiman Nefarious “Tori-gate” Scandal Rocks Europe If your favorite authors became tabloid darlings, would you care? Would you even bat an eye? Sensational exploits of public figures ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-more-important-the-author-or-the-book Huh? Emancipation?! I don’t know nuthin bout no emancipatin. Speak English, fool! Sorry, my bad. How about a video? Who doesn’t like video? Books: effective vessels for transmitting ideas, aren’t they? Objects lovingly formed between front and back covers with turnable pages of ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/setting-books-free-surviving-emancipation-in-a-content-focused-landscape “You’re all pretty, little ones,” replied the mirror. “Off to bed now to dream of sugar plum fairies and cotton candy stars in the playland of your minds. Hurry, before the wicked queen comes around with her basket of shiny red apples filled with critical thought. Nobody ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/imprint-imprint-on-the-wall%e2%80%a6-who%e2%80%99s-the-fairest-of-them-all Fear mongering is alive and kicking in publishing central, with this installment coming to you courtesy of The Author’s Guild. Heeding the call of Mr. Roy Blount, Jr., we should be brandishing our pitchforks to the Kindle 2’s adoption of text-to-speech, a feature that reads an eBook aloud using ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/kindle-2-has-text-to-speech-oh-the-horror It’s Saturday afternoon in the hood: the sun is shining, the scent of pizza is in the air and your dog is begging you to take him out for nice game of Frisbee. But you don’t go. You are immune to that siren song because you’ve just ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/pirates-authors-working-it-out-together “When someone buys a book, they are also buying the right to resell that book, to loan it out, or give it away if they want. Everyone understands this.” Jeff Bezos, Amazon CEO, Open Letter to Author’s Guild, 2002 “You may not sell, rent, lease, distribute, broadcast, sub-license or otherwise assign ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/got-my-mind-on-my-money-and-drm-on-my-mind “Robby,” Tiff said, rooting around among the jungle plants, “what’s this?” He picked it up, the weight making him using both hands. It was caked with old dirt and stained ochre like his grandfather’s teeth. “I don’t know, could be a bone or a tusk or something. Animals die out ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/the-incredible-chase My eyes hurt and I’m tired, but I can’t sleep. My mind races with thoughts of nonsense that do me no good. I don’t understand how there could be such a barrage of impending nothing when there is nothing going on in my life other than the preoccupation ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/publishing-promotion-and-how-to-run-a-business Some of you may be wondering if today’s installment is going to be a rant about the excessive product placement of Alpo in literature, but I assure you it’s not. I do, however, want to discuss the role of “filler” in prose. I am four square opposed to ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/can-literature-survive-without-meat-by-products Getting to know you, getting to know all about you…. Sing it if you know it. Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me…. You know, a common question asked of fiction authors is, “Why do you write,” or something of that derivation. To you, my ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/what-fiction-authors-don%e2%80%99t-want-you-to-know Okay, party’s over. Back to work everyone. (Hey, who threw that? I see you!) While most people were busy getting their Thanksgiving on, I spent some of that time watching BookTV on CSPAN2. Yeah, I know, what a nerd, but cut me some slack. I had ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/thats-entertainment I don’t know about all of you, but I’m in dire need of some fun. Take a look at Bernard's Letter, and see if you can’t smile through the tears. The following videos are good too. I encourage you to laugh long and well. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/lemons-and-lemonade As the Thanksgiving holiday looms ahead, I thought, “What better time to re-hash the joy that is the rejection letter!” Hey, you’re a writer, you appreciate the irony. To that end I’ve decided to regale you with more rejection letter excerpts from some of your favorite authors. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/the-company-we-keep “I'm sorry to say that I don't feel we could represent this for you successfully because of the fluctuations in the publishing marketplace. The publishing business has been erratic since the latter part of 1995, when most publishers took a big fall in sales. Sales since 1999 have been mixed, and ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/the-sure-thing Barty the ant finished up the night shift, picked up his scythe and clocked out. Life on the farm was hard work and really didn’t give him much time to himself, but he was an ant and that’s what ants did so it was okay. It was turning into a ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/the-ant-and-the-rubber-tree-plant “ONE SHOULD STRIVE TO READ GOOD BOOKS.”What are those? “FICTION HAS NO VALUE: IT IS COMPLETELY IMAGINARY WITH NO BASIS IN REALITY.”What’s wrong with that? “THOSE WHO READ LITERATURE ARE THE ONES WHO CANNOT THINK FOR THEMSELVES.”We can’t? Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me these things? Resolved: Writers must read ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/no-excuses Would you drink from an expired milk carton? Go online to get a date? Travel alone to a foreign country without knowing how to speak the language? What about ski down the Valle Blanche in France (13.7 mi./9,209 ft. vertical drop) on only one ski for $10,000,000? ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/dont-look-down For those of you who speak Japanese I’m sure you’ve already guessed that today’s entry is all about author photos! What? Was that a groan I heard out in the audience? Do you expect me to believe that when someone tells you it’s time to make love ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/say-chiizu “I have been harboring a nagging suspicion about Malcolm Gladwell for some time now. There is a word that keeps knocking at the back of my mind. That word is 'fraud'. I suspect, in short, that Malcolm Gladwell is a fraud. I finally picked up his book from a couple ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/hit-me-baby-one-more-time “There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.” Gore Vidal “I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.” G. K. Chesterton If someone advises you to do something, ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/buyer-beware Before diving into the great unknown that is marketing, consider exactly what it is that you’re trying to promote and how much time and effort you’re willing to contribute. This sounds elementary, but there are so many people with websites who clearly don’t get the obvious, that it’s worth ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/come-to-me-my-pretties-part-ii An author’s website: should you get one, do you need one? The pat answer to this would be, “Yes, of course! A website can only help bring more attention to you, which is obviously what you want.” Ehh… yes and no; bear with me on this. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/come-to-me-my-pretties-part-i I encountered an old blog entry from Miss Snark that lambasted author’s blogs as pointless wastes of time; her opinion being that writers should focus on writing good books that sell because anything else is self-defeating procrastination. Obviously I’m paraphrasing, I wouldn’t presume to speak for Madame Snarkiness, but ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/smack-thank-you-sir-may-i-have-another “Public libraries, really? That is sooo twentieth century. We use something called the in-ter-net now. You should look into it.” “Yeah, um thanks, but I actually do think that libraries are still relevant and necessary in spite of technological advancements. They are, after all, part of the ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/what%e2%80%99s-a-library-got-to-do-to-get-a-little-love In my never-ending quest to understand the human species, the ego never ceases to amaze. Part of why I write these blogs is to educate and inform other aspiring authors, based on my experience of course, and prevent them from making unnecessary mistakes. Sounds reasonable? Check. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/why-do-i-have-to-polish-when-i-already-shine Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like that: alone, listless and unable to sleep for fear of my welfare, but I am happy to report that your prayers of protection and guidance have been well served. I am intact, and on good days, fully functional. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/all-who-wander In pondering the other side of the fence, the one on which the panel of literary agents stands, torn in the assessment of THE EMPRESS ROSE's worthiness to hold its own on the bookstore shelves, I’ve had to ask myself: what more can I do to move myself up ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/getting-to-know-you This week I attended a book reading- just one more step in my endless series of research to author stardomship. I’ve been to several of these previously of course (it’s always a good idea to keep up with the competition), but I usually limit my forays to fiction authors. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/showtime-at-the-bookstore More rejections to report this week, unfortunately they were pretty generic. I say that because part of me is becoming morbidly fascinated with criticism- the more creative the better I think, if for no other reason than the entertainment value. If I’m to be criticized or rejected I ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/duck-and-cover Ah… the waiting game: one of the worst parts of this whole process. I hate waiting. It’s so… passive. I did get a couple of rejections this week as expected- thank you, Email. I think it’s easier on the querist to be rejected quickly, like ripping off ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/tick-tock-tick-tock Welcome, potential fans! Thank you for choosing ChrisEastvedt.com to satisfy your entertainment needs. Let’s jump in and talk about rejection. No, I’m not a fatalist, but as it is a rite of passage why not just discuss the heck out of it, eliminate the fear and move forward on ... http://chriseastvedt.com/blog/hello-world Ahh... love: an opportunity for reality and fantasy to meet up and declare war. Finding "The One" is never without its challenges. [audio:theperfectgirl.mp3] http://chriseastvedt.com/storytime/the-perfect-girl A Confederacy of Dunces John Kennedy Toole ISBN: 10-0-8021-3020-8 1980 A more fitting title: Idiots on Parade. Ignatius J. Reilly is a character not even a mother could love- unless she was severely medicated, or as in the case of his own mother, an alcoholic. He is repulsive in every way from ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/a-confederacy-of-dunces-by-john-kennedy-toole Havana Stephen Hunter ISBN: 0-7434-5797-8 2003 Havana… a thriller that wasn’t. It’s Cuba in the fifties. Castro’s just starting out, trying to make a name for himself and the Mafia (among others) doesn’t like it. With the Cold War in full swing, the Soviet Union sends out a veteran agent to make ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/havana-by-stephen-hunter The Cat Who Walks Through Walls Robert A. Heinlein ISBN: 0-441-09499-6 1985 If you like banter, the first 2/3 of the book is pretty good…. After surviving an assassination attempt, author and ex-military man Richard Ames escapes the fallout with a run through outer space with new bride Gwen and bonsai tree in tow. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/the-cat-who-walks-through-walls Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell Susanna Clarke ISBN: 1-58234-416-7 2004 The literary equivalent of, “Are we there yet?” This is a fictional tale about magic and the magicians who practice it. Most stories of this nature tend to culminate in battles of good versus evil, but not this: what we encounter here ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/jonathan-strange-mr-norrell-by-susanna-clarke With multiple sides to every story, sometimes even the protagonist needs to punched in the gut with their own self-righteousness. [audio:iprotest.mp3] http://chriseastvedt.com/storytime/i-protest Short and sweet, this story is dedicated to the spirit of never say die, regardless of how deluded that may be. [audio:lastchance.mp3] http://chriseastvedt.com/storytime/last-chance Maskerade Terry Prachett ISBN: 0-06-105691-X 1995 Who knew opera could be such fun? Terry Prachett is a master storyteller- one of the best in any genre, I kid you not. Maskerade is yet another triumph from the Discworld series. For those who may not know, Discworld is a planet inhabited by witches, ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/maskerade-by-terry-prachett Sex, Murder and a Double Latte Kyra Davis ISBN: 0-373-89519-4 2005 If you can get past the cutesy title and pink book cover, it's not a bad read. Sophie Katz is our heroine: a wise-cracking mystery writer turned victim when scenes from her novels curiously start to mirror her own life. ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/sex-murder-and-a-double-latte-by-kyra-davis Bachelors Anonymous P.G. Wodehouse ISBN: 0-671-21741-0 1974 A comedy of errors in true Wodehouse form. Bachelors Anonymous is a self-help group of gentlemen that believes a celibate life is the best life. These saintly marauders are not only there for each other, they will also cheerfully intervene on behalf of any man, saving ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/bachelors-anonymous-by-pg-wodehouse Blackberry Wine Joanne Harris ISBN: 0-380-97872-5 2000 I Prefer Tea.... I have mixed feelings about Blackberry Wine, unfortunately more negative than positive. For the first ten chapters I despised this book: I didn’t care about the characters, couldn’t care about the plot and wanted nothing more than to just get through the ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/blackberry-wine-by-joanne-harris Publicize Your Book! Jacqueline Deval ISBN: 0-399-52863-6 2003 A key reference for authors of all genres Regardless of how seasoned a writer you are, if you aren’t thinking like a marketer, you’re missing out on valuable opportunities to get your work noticed. This book is instrumental in teaching authors how and why they ... http://chriseastvedt.com/bookreviews/publicize-your-book-by-jacqueline-deval